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General Disclaimer

Save these instructions for future reference, as there will be a test. Before using this product, read, understand, and follow these instructions to the very best of your ability, regardless of your surroundings or any interruptions. Some statements may, will, can, and cannot contradict other statements. This product is meant for educational purposes mostly. Void where prohibited or permitted. Use only as directed by this website, regardless of what common sense might indicate. Working batteries not included. Some considerable assembly required. For recreational, household use only by household members - not pets or relatives. No other warranty or sub-warranty expressed or implied or stated or said or written. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or riding a tricycle. Fragile - this end up, if possible. Do not bend frequently. Subject to CAB disapproval. Contents may settle during shipment if bumped too often. Corrective lenses should be worn at all times if needed or not needed.  Open bag; eat nuts. Contains no nutritional value. Not a significant source of calcium. Artificial flavoring added to ink. This is not an offer to sell securities - we will call you during the dinner hour. Apply only to affected area or to any area. May be too intense for some viewers. Caution - high voltage. Do not stamp or pound. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician or veterinarian. No coupons or user-serviceable parts inside. Subject to change without much notice. Times more or less somewhat approximate. Simulated picture. Breaking seal is unlawful and constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. One size fits all thin people. Many suitcases look alike; some don't. Colors may, in time, fade, then suddenly brighten for no reason. Slippery when wet and slimy. For office use only by official office people. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross or any well-known political party. Edited for television and transistor radio. Keep cool; process pretty soon. Post office will not deliver with or without postage. List was completely out of date at time of printing. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform the song the way you wanted us to. At participating and non-participating locations only. Remove plastic before heating or eating. Dry clean only. Not the Beatles. Not Beethoven. Not Bach. Not Anyone. This product will not enable the user to fly, as far as we know. Do not use this product while sleeping or snoozing or nodding off. Penalty for private or public use. Substantial penalty for early or late withdrawal. Do not write or doodle below this line. Falling rock and sleet, dirt and crabgrass, cardboard boxes, and miscellaneous debris. Caution - air brakes.  Caution - squeaky brakes. Lost ticket pays maximum rate until you find it. Your cancelled check is your receipt (except for cash). Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher north of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible for whatever prizes we may have mentioned. Beware of dog and ostrich. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Beware of cat and psycho owner. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery of something. You must be a human being and be present to win. No passes or streetcar tokens accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary, although it would help. Processed at location stamped in secret code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur, and then again, may not. Use only in well-ventilated area such as the outdoors and wind tunnels. Keep away from fire or flame - one or the other. Replace with same type of thing. Approved for some veterans. Do not dispose of in fire or in haste. Not rechargeable. Spent or discharged batteries must be properly disposed of and recycled in compliance with all applicable laws of Lower-Poland. Use only in well-ventilated and properly humidified area with humidity at 105% or higher. Keep cord untangled. Do not store near closet jumble or last Sunday's newspaper. For indoor home use only not including domed stadiums. Not warranted for business or commercial use (see subsection 12(c)(a)(17b). Unplug when not in use and before leaving on vacation. Keep away from children, pets, fish, and artificial flowers. Use only the power source approved for this unit, and never turn it on or off. Do not use an extension cord or octopus plug with this product. Beware of electrical shock hazards and try to avoid them. Do not insert objects into any opening or anything that looks like an opening. Wash thoroughly and burn clothing after use or purchase. Fines double in work areas, and triple in loafing areas. Some equipment shown is optional; some equipment not shown is required. Price does not include taxes, fees, surcharges, postage and delivery, expediting charges, wrapping, or handling. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children or really old people. Prerecorded for all time zones. Reproduction strictly prohibited in public. No solicitors. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Sample - not for resale at any price. Call toll-free before digging down and to the left. Driver does not usually carry much cash, but sometimes he does. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for make-believe identification purposes only. No personally identifiable information collected except for your height and weight. No shipments to PO boxes except for Slovakia. Allow 16 weeks for delivery. In case of a dispute, send a letter with a self-addressed stamped envelope, and include your name, address, morning phone, afternoon phone, evening phone, and nighttime phone, and account number in that order, triple spaced. Changes or modifications not expressly approved by the party responsible for compliance could void the user's authority to operate the equipment or read the user manual. Contains some used parts warranted as "almost new". Company reserves the right to make changes without notice at its sole discretion at any time for any reason on any day in any kind of weather - even on your birthday. The information provided in the Disclaimer is provided "as is" without warranty of any kind regardless of what you may think. Spchs61 disclaims all warranties, either express or implied, including the warranties of merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose, and the unfitness of anything for no particular purpose. In no event shall spchs61 or its suppliers be liable or re-liable for any damages whatsoever including direct, indirect, incidental, consequential, loss of business profits or special damages, even if it or its suppliers have been advised of the possibility of such damages and stated that they did or did not know or care. Some states do not allow the exclusion or limitation of liability for consequential or incidental damages so the foregoing limitation may not apply; however, you should not be living in those states as those are dumb states. The information contained herein is not medical advice and is not intended to replace the advice or attention of your personal physician (or your veterinarian) or other health care professionals. You must consult your health care provider (or your veterinarian) before beginning any new dietary supplementation program. This information is not intended as a "prescription" for treatment nor is it intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease of you or your pet.

Some minor side effects may occur from not using this product, such as a purplish rash covering most of your face for 7 years, squirting sounds coming from your nose, uncontrollable twitching, reverse belching, inverted-dyspepsicchorrhea, acne, eczema, dry skin, leprosy, age spots, liver spots, Simmons' Blotch, wrinkles, leathery skin, ichthyosis vulgaris, confusion, dementia, loss of bladder control, uncontrollable impulses, bad breath, body odor, an addiction for collecting old tires, dial-tone phobia, Daylight Savings Time phobia, orange tongue, green teeth, swollen ears, narrow lips, cow nose, hairy tongue, hair on your forehead, and many other side effects too revolting to mention, unless we feel like it. Spchs61 does not suggest, endorse, or imply in any way any treatment or cure for any ailment or disease nor does it endorse or suggest that you should ever take more than the recommended dose of any nutritional supplement as listed on the label, although you should read between the lines. Spchs61 makes no representations concerning the efficacy, appropriateness, or suitability of any products or treatments, other than our patented cure for insanity. Neither it nor any other party involved in providing this website are doctors and have no medical background or training, except for our own, personal experiences which have been highly illuminating. In view of the possibility of human error, no party involved in providing this website warrants that the information contained herein is in any respect accurate or complete and they are neither responsible nor liable for any errors or omissions that may be found in this website or for the results obtained from the use of such information, other than the Insanity Cure. The information on this site is for educational purposes only. If you (or your pet) are ill, see a health care professional in an office with an elevator. Products (or their distributors) mentioned on this site do not make any claim to any specific benefits which might or might not be achieved by using them or not using them, or using them some of the time. This information is not specific to any company's products except our own and a few others. Statements have not been evaluated by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, not that it would matter. The entire risk as to use of this website is assumed by the user by breaking the seal on your keyboard or mouse and coming here under your own free will for information, entertainment, and the curing of insanity. All rights reserved and roped off with felt ropes. International copyright may apply except in Hong Kong. This warranty is in lieu of all other warranties expressed or implied, and is valid only within the USA, the Western Antilles, the Eastern Antilles, and Southern Canada. Made in China. Not responsible for use, misuse, non-use, or partial use. Your call may be monitored for quality purposes, and to spy on you and others. Some restrictions definitely apply.

 

See your general dealer for general details, except for general holidays.

Do not send a pet or relative to see your general dealer for details - especially not a Wiener Dog!!

 

EDITED FOR 12-VOLT TRANSISTOR RADIO.

 

DO NOT MIX WITH BLEACH OR DRYER SHEETS!!! 

 

CONTENTS MAY SHIFT SIGNIFICANTLY DURING TRANSIT!! 

 

MANY BAGS LOOK ALIKE!! 

 

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR NORTHERN GROWING ZONES!!

 

ALL LINES ARE BUSY -- PLEASE HOLD.

 

Disclaimer Notice

HO-97958-E   AFM-Q3   RZVY-297-3(a)   LQ9-41D3   Z5YWVSQ0963-00O {&+*^!}

This supersedes all previous English disclaimer notices, with a few exceptions.

 

 

 

 

 

Appendix to the Disclaimer Notice:

Additional Appended Disclaimer Items - Important!

Before using this product, read, understand, and follow these instructions to the very best of your ability, regardless of your surroundings or any interruptions. Some statements may, will, can, and cannot contradict other statements. This product is meant for educational purposes mostly. Void where prohibited or permitted. Use only as directed by this website, regardless of what common sense might indicate. Working batteries not included. Some considerable assembly required. For recreational, household use only by household members - not pets or relatives. No other warranty or sub-warranty expressed or implied or stated or said or written. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or riding a tricycle. Fragile - this end up, if possible. Do not bend frequently. Subject to CAB disapproval. Contents may settle during shipment if bumped too often. Corrective lenses should be worn at all times if needed or not needed.  Open bag; eat nuts. Contains no nutritional value. Not a significant source of calcium. Artificial flavoring added to ink. This is not an offer to sell securities - we will call you during the dinner hour. Apply only to affected area or to any area. May be too intense for some viewers. Caution - high voltage. Do not stamp or pound. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician or veterinarian. No coupons or user-serviceable parts inside. Subject to change without much notice. Times more or less somewhat approximate. Simulated picture. Breaking seal is unlawful and constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. One size fits all thin people. Many suitcases look alike; some don't. Colors may, in time, fade, then suddenly brighten for no reason. Slippery when wet and slimy. For office use only by official office people. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross or any well-known political party. Edited for television and transistor radio. Keep cool; process pretty soon. Post office will not deliver with or without postage. List was completely out of date at time of printing. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform the song the way you wanted us to. At participating and non-participating locations only. Remove plastic before heating or eating. Dry clean only. Not the Beatles. Not Beethoven. Not Bach. Not Anyone. This product will not enable the user to fly, as far as we know. Do not use this product while sleeping or snoozing or nodding off. Penalty for private or public use. Substantial penalty for early or late withdrawal. Do not write or doodle below this line. Falling rock and sleet, dirt and crabgrass, cardboard boxes, and miscellaneous debris. Caution - air brakes.  Caution - squeaky brakes. Lost ticket pays maximum rate until you find it. Your cancelled check is your receipt (except for cash). Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher north of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible for whatever prizes we may have mentioned. Beware of dog and ostrich. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Beware of cat and psycho owner. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery of something. You must be a human being and be present to win. No passes or streetcar tokens accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary, although it would help. Processed at location stamped in secret code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur, and then again, may not. Use only in well-ventilated area such as the outdoors and wind tunnels. Keep away from fire or flame - one or the other. Replace with same type of thing. Approved for some veterans. Do not dispose of in fire or in haste. Not rechargeable. Spent or discharged batteries must be properly disposed of and recycled in compliance with all applicable laws of Lower-Poland. Use only in well-ventilated and properly humidified area with humidity at 105% or higher. Keep cord untangled. Do not store near closet jumble or last Sunday's newspaper. For indoor home use only not including domed stadiums. Not warranted for business or commercial use (see subsection 12(c)(a)(17b). Unplug when not in use and before leaving on vacation. Keep away from children, pets, fish, and artificial flowers. Use only the power source approved for this unit, and never turn it on or off. Do not use an extension cord or octopus plug with this product. Beware of electrical shock hazards and try to avoid them. Do not insert objects into any opening or anything that looks like an opening. Wash thoroughly and burn clothing after use or purchase. Fines double in work areas, and triple in loafing areas. Some equipment shown is optional; some equipment not shown is required. Price does not include taxes, fees, surcharges, postage and delivery, expediting charges, wrapping, or handling. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children or really old people. Prerecorded for all time zones. Reproduction strictly prohibited in public. No solicitors. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Sample - not for resale at any price. Call toll-free before digging down and to the left. Driver does not usually carry much cash, but sometimes he does. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for make-believe identification purposes only. No personally identifiable information collected except for your height and weight. No shipments to PO boxes except for Slovakia. Allow 16 weeks for delivery. In case of a dispute, send a letter with a self-addressed stamped envelope, and include your name, address, morning phone, afternoon phone, evening phone, and nighttime phone, and account number in that order, triple spaced. Changes or modifications not expressly approved by the party responsible for compliance could void the user's authority to operate the equipment or read the user manual. Contains some used parts warranted as "almost new". Company reserves the right to make changes without notice at its sole discretion at any time for any reason on any day in any kind of weather - even on your birthday. The information provided in the Disclaimer is provided "as is" without warranty of any kind regardless of what you may think. Spchs61 disclaims all warranties, either express or implied, including the warranties of merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose, and the unfitness of anything for no particular purpose. In no event shall spchs61 or its suppliers be liable or re-liable for any damages whatsoever including direct, indirect, incidental, consequential, loss of business profits or special damages, even if it or its suppliers have been advised of the possibility of such damages and stated that they did or did not know or care. Some states do not allow the exclusion or limitation of liability for consequential or incidental damages so the foregoing limitation may not apply; however, you should not be living in those states as those are dumb states. The information contained herein is not medical advice and is not intended to replace the advice or attention of your personal physician (or your veterinarian) or other health care professionals. You must consult your health care provider (or your veterinarian) before beginning any new dietary supplementation program. This information is not intended as a "prescription" for treatment nor is it intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease of you or your pet.

Some minor side effects may occur from not using this product, such as a purplish rash covering most of your face for 7 years, squirting sounds coming from your nose, uncontrollable twitching, reverse belching, inverted-dyspepsicchorrhea, acne, eczema, dry skin, leprosy, age spots, liver spots, Simmons' Blotch, wrinkles, leathery skin, ichthyosis vulgaris, confusion, dementia, loss of bladder control, uncontrollable impulses, bad breath, body odor, an addiction for collecting old tires, dial-tone phobia, Daylight Savings Time phobia, orange tongue, green teeth, swollen ears, narrow lips, cow nose, hairy tongue, hair on your forehead, and many other side effects too revolting to mention, unless we feel like it. Spchs61 does not suggest, endorse, or imply in any way any treatment or cure for any ailment or disease nor does it endorse or suggest that you should ever take more than the recommended dose of any nutritional supplement as listed on the label, although you should read between the lines. Spchs61 makes no representations concerning the efficacy, appropriateness, or suitability of any products or treatments, other than our patented cure for insanity. Neither it nor any other party involved in providing this website are doctors and have no medical background or training, except for our own, personal experiences which have been highly illuminating. In view of the possibility of human error, no party involved in providing this website warrants that the information contained herein is in any respect accurate or complete and they are neither responsible nor liable for any errors or omissions that may be found in this website or for the results obtained from the use of such information, other than the Insanity Cure. The information on this site is for educational purposes only. If you (or your pet) are ill, see a health care professional in an office with an elevator. Products (or their distributors) mentioned on this site do not make any claim to any specific benefits which might or might not be achieved by using them or not using them, or using them some of the time. This information is not specific to any company's products except our own and a few others. Statements have not been evaluated by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, not that it would matter. The entire risk as to use of this website is assumed by the user by breaking the seal on your keyboard or mouse and coming here under your own free will for information, entertainment, and the curing of insanity. All rights reserved and roped off with felt ropes. International copyright may apply except in Hong Kong. This warranty is in lieu of all other warranties expressed or implied, and is valid only within the USA, the Western Antilles, the Eastern Antilles, and Southern Canada. Made in China. Not responsible for use, misuse, non-use, or partial use. Your call may be monitored for quality purposes, and to spy on you and others. Some restrictions definitely apply.

 

Additional Appended Disclaimer Notice Appendix Number

Z5YWVSQ0963-00OHO97958EAFMQ3RZVY2973(a)LQ941D3

This supersedes all previous English disclaimer notices, with a few additional exceptions.